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The slump that happens in our 30s and 40s that no one talks about.

Over the last four years, I have spoken to hundreds of people who are in some sort of slump or stalled position in their career… and have come to me looking for coaching support to regain alignment with who they are and what they know they’re capable of.

One common thread I have seen over and over again is that people who come to coaching are high achievers. They are the successful, the early arrivers, the often promoted… but something happens for many of them by the time they hit their 30s -- they have accomplished all the career goals they set out to achieve. The VP title, the high six-figure salary, the power and recognition of being incredibly capable and talented in their role/industry. They continue for several more years doing what they do best only to begin to languish. What they created doesn’t actually fulfill them as they thought it would, and imagining another 20 or 30 years doing the same thing feels heavy and burdensome.

These professionals are goal and vision driven. Goals give them energy. They like to focus on where they are going and intensely work toward something… and when the milestone has been reached… and no new one set… the satisfaction of being where they always wanted to be wears off to comfort and then eventually degrades to a feeling of stagnation, loss of confidence, and mild depression.

We often hear of this happening with Olympic athletes. After a lifetime of working toward the gold, when the competing is over and the drive to attain that next goal undirected, an Olympic athlete’s engine within can start to stutter and their identify become fractured. But everyday working professionals experience something similar: pressure to perform, competitive workplaces, demanding clients, and an identity that’s wrapped up in titles and advancement.

You see, when we first created goals for our careers and our life we had no idea how quickly we'd be able to accomplish and exceed our own expectations. Technology, booming industries, self-learning access, models of ambition and young success have sped up the timeline we grew up dreaming about. And to realize our biggest goal has been reached and it didn't necessarily feel like enough... can rock us to our core. It can leave us aimless and lethargic in our own life. Turned off and tuned out.

As a client I spoke to earlier this week put it , “I had very clear career and financial boxes to check. Ever since I checked those boxes, I haven't been able to figure out my next set of goals. I’ve just been going through the motions and don't know what I want next.” Another client shared something similar, but expanded to include that she isn’t even sure she wants the next promotion in front of her.

If you are here, or have been here, you know this sinking feeling. Where life loses its luster and numbness begins to set in. This is where coaching can be an incredible benefit.

The antidote to this emotional and mental “stalling out” is threefold:

  1. Do a life audit to understand what is working for you and what is not

  2. Get clear on who you are so your talents/genius to inform your next step

  3. Expand your idea of what’s possible to create a new vision that aligns with the best version of you

While this may sound easy enough, it will take you on a meandering path of sifting through what’s actually true to who you are vs. what you believe should be true. (I wrote about the challenge many of us have with knowing what we really want and what’s true to ourselves here.)

And the process becomes the most honest and courage-filled experience in our clients’ lives to date. It requires them to stand up for what they believe in, be open to receiving something greater than their biggest dreams, and trust that they are capable of all of it.

The results are a renewed sense of confidence that fuels their energy and boldness, that in turn helps them feel alive again with impact, leadership and pride for where they have been and where they are now.

And we are here for all of it. At Collective Gain this is what we do. We stand by clients as they navigate it all to find and then live their truth. It’s the most fulfilling job we can imagine because we get to see people reborn as themselves with joy so pure it bubbles from within and spills over to us too, and we get to witness the magic of life and humanity.

We’ve helped hundreds of professionals find their way back to feeling aligned, engaged and inspired. If you’re ready to experience what support can do for you, visit us here. We offer a coaching trial to help you say yes and get the support dreams are made from.


I started Collective Gain out of a desire make work better, where being on a magic team was the norm vs. a rare chance occurrence. Through coaching, I discovered deep self-awareness, new perspectives and ways of working that I am passionate about bringing to you.

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